Shy baby vs. pushy stepmother?

i have an extremly shy 1 year old, and my stepmom looks at it like a personal challenge to hold him without him screaming hysterically. she forces herself on him saying things like 'he has to get used to it'. now shes insistng that we drop him off to spend the night. she wont be reasoned with. they have a dog, they arent baby proofed (my son only crawls) they have a 3 level house, so 3 sets of steps. oh, she also wants us to drop our newborn off with too! i asked if she would please come over to our house to babysit, its just more practical, but she refused. people have babysat my shy baby over my house before and i think its alot more comfortable for him. if she really wants to get to know HIM, dont you think she should bend a little and do whats going to be the best thing for him? or does it sound like shes just on a mission? shes also never had any of her own children, so i have to be careful. i think she may be a little sensitive.